9 steps for unhappy couples disclosure
When we see a happy couple we think: "It is real luck! They do love each other". It is true: there are such marriage, but they are mich more less than we think and not with people who demonstrate it. We bring together the most significant examples how people try to convince yourself and other people that they are happy in marriage.
For example he/she was signed as a "darling","sweety","candy","sunny", "cherry", "mine", "kitty" and etc. If animal-fruit names message us about phone owner's bad tone and taste, then "darling" is a diagnosis. It is strange to remind yorself that you love calling man. Do you hate his/her name? Or other people around should know that you love he or her. Do not excuse, just listen yourself
Such actions are for friends demostrating. Why do you put wife's photo on a table if you meet her at home anyway? Or don't meet? Or she is smiling and happy on a photo, but actually she is shrill and fading damned wretch which makes you too weary? Many photos in a phone fact tell us about an affair beginning. Then photos will be moved to a computer and sleep there for a long time. If you are many years in a marrige and has got many partner's photo in a phone - so, you probably know that somebody periodically checks the phone out. Or you demonstrate this photos to somebody and reassure yourself.
Well, you are laughing at a salt joke or look at a monitor sullenly and suddenly "darling" is calling. Your voice increase two octave and prounounce unladylike intonations: Everything is okey, everybody is calm. The house is in a full order.
There is somebody in such couple's home. One man looks in a cup of tea, other man wants to acquaint with his new girlfriend, third man delaed from yesterday evening party. There is no dinner in a loneliness. Parties, gangs, noise, no time for thinking, no time for talking - and thank goodness. Serious conversations may have serious consequences. And nobody knows about what can they talk.
All speeches alone or in friends community are targeted to children - their actions, diseases, funny phrases. Two-times-a-week sex is explained facts like early waking up or fear of children waking. Such situations are not bad. You can be closer to each other and feel that this man is your relative. But if you remember your spouse when there is a parent meeting in a child's school - your love has gone. Such marriage can be very strong but it will disappear when children will grow up and left parent house.
When you are in love you are jealous justified. Your status are shaky yet, feelings are acute, you want to take over your love partner and do not apportion he or she with other persons. Jealousy is simulate on first stages. But if if appears in 3-4 years - it isn't a good sign. Сuriously enough but jealously is initiated a person who had got a treason or is going to have it. But don't muss up with suddenly appeared passion. If you are boring with this man, you don't want to have a sex with her or she but may be with other? No-no-no. Goodbye love and hello - fear!
It is a serious sign if you prefer don't mention your partner at work, in a friend community or in a separate trips. You want, consciously or not, that your partner formally disappear from this planet and you will live in something other life. You throw back your head when you are laughing, like new people and acquaintanceships and are always ready for new adventures. Mean purpose is hiding the fact that some boring and pestered person waits you at home - no laughing, no acquaintances, no adventures. When somebody asks you about your family you let him/her understands that your private life is only your own care and nobody shold knows about it. You never take your partner to your parties discribing the situation that he/she doesn't like your parties and they are boring for partner. Actually you fears to be together in your friends party. Because friends will understand. And only you still understand.
If you prefer to mention your partner even ignoring a main sign of a speech - so, you are just trying to remind yourself and other people that you have got long and happy family life. People around know about your famile much more then about their own: anniversary, memorable dates, sexual preferences, work achievements. Your main purpose is become highlighted with tags of successful life in other people eyes: stability, love, lucky marriage, strong relations. But you don't make believe others that you haven't got an arm and don't tell other people that you haven't got an arm. You have got an arm and you accept it as is and you are happy together. The same situation with a marriage.
Live-giving chaos had already gone from your relations house and there is only live-destroying chaos. Well, you decide to calculate every little fact of your joint pastime because you want to birst from all family life difficulties and don't have stay together opportunity in silence. You start to vizit a ballroom dancing, go to language meetings on Saturday, vizit a sauna with friends on Friday and relatives for branch - on Sunday. It seems, if you don't come to a spontaneous decision then nobody will live through this day successfully and your life will end.